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WELCOME TO
CRETACEOUSLAND!
The Center for Cretaceous Studies and most likely the world's ONLY
Live Dinosaur Reserve & Theme Park
| ALWAYS TAKE A SLOWER FRIEND WITH YOU |
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| Looks Like Hiking Trail 14 Is Still A Prime Hunting Trail |
LOOK FOR CRETACEOUSLAND! ON FACEBOOK!
when you
are sooooo bored you'll do anything
WELCOME to the official CRETACEOUSLAND!
website you poor misguided soul!
You've just discovered the only LIVE Dinosaur reserve and theme park on the entire planet! What can you expect to discover
while you're here? Empty (we assume) outdoor Habitats!! Yeah, that's right. We've moved all the DinoResidents back outdoors
after spending the Winter inside at the Center for Cretaceous Studies. The time is (never) right for you and your loved ones
to spend some final time... er, family time... together! We're open 24/7 and sometimes 25/8, so make plans today!
As the world's only outdoor, live DinoReserve, CRETACEOUSLAND! is located
just a quick ambulance ride from our parent company The Center for Cretaceous Studies!
In fact, we fight over the same parking spots every day.
So detailed and exact in the presentation of natural Cretaceous Period conditions, our scientists have gone to great lengths
(+/-2 centimeters) to raise the same vegetation found dozens of millions of years ago -- much to the chagrin of the U.S. EPA.
We've been in court over most of this stuff for decades.
During our Summer Season we'll give you the opportunity to see Cretaceous Period flora and fauna in outdoor Habitats (HABs)
as they originally, naturally appeared 65+ MA (Million Years Ago), or BA as we call it (Before Asteroid). This also gives
you an excellent chance to contract some heretofore unknown and probably incurable prehistoric disease or allergy!
See? It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?
Take a moment or three to see what's in store for you and your family next summer when you resign yourself into visiting CRETACEOUSLAND! as a last ditch vacation idea, which it usually is.
Educational? Nope. Fun? Nah. Good value for the money? No way.
None of these apply here. But odds are, you'll never get to, er... want to... leave!
BOOKMARK this
site for future news and information, as the CRETACEOUSLAND! company information (aka: water cooler rumors), found below,
is updated every time we have a reporter who survives another week in this death trap!
We think you'll agree with that one guy who nearly made it out of here alive:
A day at CRETACEOUSLAND! is like no other!
| CEO & FOUNDER JUST BEFORE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE DIG |
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| Booted From Hundreds Of Sites Hasn't Stopped Him From Screwing Up Around Here |
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! NEWSUNDIES, er, NEWSBRIEFS
The Latest And Sorta-Kinda Up To Date Information On Who...What...Where...When...And Why ME?
On All Things CRETACEOUSLAND!
LAST UPDATED 29 APRIL 2023
HAB SUPERVISOR BRAWN DOESN'T SHAKE HANDS WITH SECOND SHIFT EMPLOYEES
Two Shifts At Odds With Each Other Over Refrigerator Wars
Following your shift here at Cretaceousland!, employees usually meet up with one another to shake hands, embrace one another
and hope they make it through their shift alive.
The practice normally calms down when someone - or a group - has been listed as MPE (Missing, Presumed Eaten), but it gets
revived when the funeral(s) is/are final.
HAB23 Supervisor LeJames Brawn did not participate after advancing to the time clock. The Supervisor went to the employee
locker room with still over 14 seconds left on his shift.
The number of dayshift Habitat employees vs. second shift employees for HABs 20-25 is currently 125-85. And at least one member
of the night shift gave a fair share of trash talk to Brawn before and during the changing of the shifts.
Days before it was even official that someone had kept unwrapped fish in the locker room refrigerator, second shift HAB23
Captain Les Didgetts welcomed the challenge about rumors it was his fish, and his jabs continued throughout the week.
Didgetts and Brawn exchanged words with 8:06 remaining in the first shift after Brawn posted a "Refrigerator Clean-Out Tomorrow"
notice. Digetts said Brawn called him "dumb" for bringing fish into the employee refrigerator.
"I don’t care. He’s old. I like fish," Didgetts said after his shift began, when asked about the exchange.
"I was expecting him to do that on Tuesday or Wednesday. He wanted to say something when I got my fish out of the company
microwave. He should have said that earlier on."
"I poke bears. I don’t respect no one until they come and give me the "we are transferring you to the T.rex Habitat"
speech."
Brawn shook off those comments, saying he was "not here for the fun of smelling stinky fish. If I wanted to do that I'd
be over at the Spinosaurid Habitats."
Read the REAL story: LeBron James doesn't shake hands with Grizzlies after eliminating them from playoffs
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