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You may ask yourself: do Dinosaur eating habits resemble modern day top predator feeding frenzies? And you may ask yourself:
Are their eating characteristics similar to those of that fat guy you saw at McDonald's last week? And you may say to yourself:
What are they - Predator or Scavenger? And what do they do about salad?!?
Well? Want the answers?
Then as soon as you enter Cretaceousland!, you'll want to make a bee-line straight
over to one of our most favorite hands-on DinoExperiences: FEED A RAPTOR. You'll
witness Dinosaur eating manners right here and right now, and you'll be tossing your cookies right there and right then! It's
not a pretty sight, and they don't have very good table manners.
OUTDOOR FEEDING STATIONS
Start your day here at Cretaceousland! Habitat 2 with any child, family member, or
loved one, and for a nominal fee choose either a live goat or fully grown cow to 'play' with our friendly Dino's! Watch our
savage, crazy-dangerous, giant meat-eaters play with their newfound friend! Awwww, isn't that cute how they tickle and play
tag with their new BFF, kiddies?
Our all-new-for 1986 safety upgrades (for us, not you) have just been completed at both remaining Raptor Feeding Stations.
Though they look as if they just came directly from the Cretaceous Period: rusting metal, wobbly, broken, wooden steps, cracked
foundation, eroding bolts, crumbling cement... looking every bit of 65 million years old, C4CS
Engineers and Lawyers have sort of inspected these er, minor flaws. Even though the slightest misstep would mean certain doom,
they have deemed the Feeding Stations "fit" for human consumption. Though this is not a ringing endorsement, it is
an endorsement, and around here we'll take anything we can get. And hey, it's safe enough for you.
At one time in our dubious past there were eight Feeding Stations at Cretaceousland!
before they were detroyed, but we've scavenged enough parts from them to make our two remaining DinoFeed areas half as safe
for your inconvenience! The other six Stations were closed after what we've determined to be "mildly disasterous events".
Hey, it's FEED A RAPTOR not FEED A PIGEON.
Standing at the controls high above, the grease-covered, slick floor may seem to be angling downward towards the feeding area.
Well, it is - but only to, uh, allow rainwater to flow off. What? Oh no! It never occurred to us that should
you slip, the 30º angle would cause you to slide right past the "safety string barrier", over the edge and down into the feed
area. Nope. We never thought that would happen. Not at all.
After several (3) seconds of instruction, you'll be in complete control of lowering "Mr. MooMoo" or "Billy the Goat" into
the Raptor 'playpen' via industrial crane. Down below, inside the Raptor Feeding Pen, we've painted a nice, big bullseye.
Do you think you can land "Mr MooMoo" exactly on the target? Winners receive a free prize at nearly half-price.
The control unit, which is actually a beat up Wii found in an overturned, burning SUV in Parking Lot 4, controls the up, down,
left, and right, just not in that order. Good luck!
What you'll discover, and hopefully live to tell, is with all that control, you won't have any control over the leaping ability
or actions of the immensely powerful DinoResident in the Feeding Station. It can be amazing to realize how treacherous your
footing becomes when big Dinosaurs slam into the Feeding Station tower. Some have the ability to leap as high as the "safety
string barrier" you're wobbly standing behind, nipping at your toes. Wow! What great family fun, huh?
| PERSONALLY, WE'D HIDE IN THE FREEZER |
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| Create Your Own DinoDish! Remember To Count Your Fingers, Toes, Arms, And Legs Before Leaving. |
INDOOR FEEDING STATION
During inclement weather you'll still get the full feeding/killing/gouging/gagging-reflex effect at our indoor feed station,
also known as The C4CS KRETACEOUS KITCHEN. This particular indoor feeding area offers
you the "safety" of standing with a stainless steel countertop (if you're lucky) between you and a ravenous DinoResident.
We usually resort to smaller species when indoors if only because they don't break as many plates. But mostly because they
don't eat as many of the kitchen staff. For some reason, The KRETACEOUS KITCHEN has
proven to be a not so popular a place to eat amongst those working here.
Each family member will be issued a complete plastic white suit, gloves, boots, and eye goggles, for this activity. Action
is quick and deadly as our Dinosaur chases his lunch around the kitchen while C4CS KRETACEOUS KITCHEN
staff tries to prepare daily meals. And by "Dinosaur chases his lunch" we mean (hopefully) the
animal you chose to release, and not you or your family - a mixup which seems to happen more often than not.
It also gets quite noisy and messy on the well-polished, slippery, and sanitized floors. .. the dishes, the pans, the tables,
the kettles, all being tossed around like toys accompanied by the roaring and your screaming. The Head Chef may ask you to
keep your screaming down so as not to frighten any patrons out front trying to eat. Our KRETACEOUS KITCHEN staff just LOVE picking up after one of these rundowns. Luckily, we're very 'green' here. We recycle: any
food found on the floor and serve to our guests (for more information on C4CS KRETACEOUS KITCHEN click on the C4CS website).
Watch, if you can, as the Dinosaurs crunch, tear, rip, and shred into their hapless, squealing victim of your own choosing.
With blood and guts spewing everywhere, onto everything, it helps considerably to keep your goggles on. Please keep your eyes
open and stay alert, as there have been numerous times when visitors have been struck by a 'flying' leg of lamb (also found
on the menu, page 3), ripped from its joints and flung across the room by the violent shaking death brought on by our cute
and cuddly Raptors.
Amazingly, while the huge meat-eater finishes off the growling, bone-crunching, blood-drooling meal, there's NOTHING between
you and the largest predator in the history of the Earth... you'll be standing right there with them! You can reach out and
TOUCH them!
*NOTE: We suggest not touching them - unless you
really want to learn how to type or how to drive with your feet.
| OUR EXPERIMENTAL, NON-FREE-RANGE FEEDING PROCESS |
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| Like A Killer Whale With A Seal, Carnotaurus Often 'Play' With Their Food |
To Help Feed Our Residents or To Donate Money, a LOT of Money, Write
CretaceouStudies@aol.com
or CretaceouStudies@yahoo.com or CretaceouStudies@gmail.com
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