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Home
About Us
Upon Your Arrival
Feed A Raptor!
Run From Dinosaurs!
Bike With Dinosaurs!
Pet A Dinosaur!
Swim With Dinosaurs!
Swing With Dinosaurs!
Camp With Dinosaurs!
Drive With Dinosaurs!
Visitor's Final Look
Membership
Sign Our Guestbook!

WELCOME TO
CRETACEOUSLAND!
The Center for Cretaceous Studies and most likely the world's ONLY
Live Dinosaur Reserve & Theme Park

BOARD APPROVES TRIAL OF NEW UNIFORMS
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Reported To Be 30% Less Crunchy Than Current Style

PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGICAL SOCIETY

even though they asked us to go away

Look For The Center On Facebook!

why? for what sane reason would you do that?

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People for the Ethical Treatment Of Dinosaurs. Charter Member Since We Joined Last Week

WELCOME to the official CRETACEOUSLAND! website you poor misguided soul!

You've just discovered the only LIVE Dinosaur reserve and theme park on the entire planet! What can you expect to find while you're here - besides your worst nightmares coming true? NOTHING!!! That's right - we just moved the animals back to their Winter Indoor Paddocks (IPs) at The Center. However, you are more than welcome to roam around the now-empty Habitats to enjoy the scenery! And, who knows? You may encounter one of the man-eating, ferocious, killer DinoResidents that we forgot to move! Hey, it's happened before.

Though the animals are gone until next Spring, here's some boring information to entice you to come and still risk your very life - and those who surround you - by visiting! As the world's only outdoor, live DinoReserve, CRETACEOUSLAND! is located just a quick ambulance ride from our parent company The Center for Cretaceous Studies! In fact, we fight over the same parking spots every day.

So detailed and exact in the presentation of natural Cretaceous Period conditions, our scientists have gone to great lengths (+/-2 centimeters) to raise the same vegetation found dozens of millions of years ago -- much to the chagrin of the U.S. EPA. We've been in court over most of this stuff for decades.

We'll give you the opportunity to see Cretaceous Period flora and fauna in outdoor Habitats (HABs) as they originally, naturally appeared 65+ MA (Million Years Ago), or BA as we call it (Before Asteroid). This also gives you an excellent chance to contract some heretofore unknown and probably incurable prehistoric disease or allergy!

See? It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?

Take a moment or three to see what's in store for you and your family next summer when you resign yourself into visiting CRETACEOUSLAND! as a last ditch vacation idea, which it usually is.

Educational? Nope. Fun? Nah. Good value for the money? No way.
None of these apply here. But odds are, you'll never get to, er... want to... leave!

BOOKMARK this site for future news and information, as the CRETACEOUSLAND! company information (aka: water cooler rumors), found below, is updated every time we have a reporter who survives another week in this death trap!

We think you'll agree with that one guy who nearly made it out of here alive:
A day at CRETACEOUSLAND! is like no other!

CEO & FOUNDER JUST BEFORE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE DIG
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Booted From Hundreds Of Sites Hasn't Stopped Him From Screwing Up Around Here

THE CRETACEOUSLAND! NEWSUNDIES, er, NEWSBRIEFS
The Latest And Sorta-Kinda Up To Date Information On Who...What...Where...When...And Why ME?
On All Things CRETACEOUSLAND!
LAST UPDATED 7 NOVEMBER 2019


HABITAT VISITOR SINKS BASKETBALL LAY-UP; WINS FREE LIFETIME PASS
Immediately Gives It Back

One of the final 2019 Cretaceousland! visitors made a basketball lay-up shot while touring the campus Tuesday afternoon and won a lifetime free pass to Cretaceousland!, according to reports, none of them likely to be true.

To qualify for the lay-up shot, Otto Bounds, who was picked out of the crowd, first had to bark like a dog, jump through a hoop, and sink the lay-up in under 30 minutes. It seems none of our tourists are in very good shape. Not that we're complaining: It helps keep the feed bill low during the Summer. Bounds made the shot just as time ran out.

The crowd, all 3 of them, went crazy... well, one guy said "Whoop!" after he sank the lay-up without touching the rim.

Presenting the Lifetime Free Pass to Bounds was Cretaceousland!s spokesman, Audrey Marx. Once he regained his composure, stopped sweating like a pig, Bounds realized what his "free gift" meant and immediately refused to accept it. Bounds is now the 16,775th visitor to return a free Cretaceousland! lifetime pass.

Read the REAL story: Oklahoma student sinks half-court shot for free tuition


A BOOK ALL DINOSAUR-LOVERS REALLY NEED
A Real Book? Seriously? Available Now? Where? How Do We Get It? Huh? Huh?
Can We Possibly Ask More Questions Or Does This About Cover It?

Yes Virginia, there really is a book about our parent company, aka The Center for Cretaceous Studies, aka this death trap!

The world has waited 66 million years - give or take a month - for live Dinosaurs & comedy to come together. Until that happens, here's our shot at it.

Grab your copy of "The Center for Cretaceous Studies" before they sell out! Ok, that might be stretching it a bit. Anyway, pick one up at these fine bookstore websites:

AuthorHouse (eBook and paperback)

Barnes & Noble (paperback)

Amazon (paperback)

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