The Center for Cretaceous Studies
and most likely the world's ONLY
Live Dinosaur Reserve & Theme Park
|DINOS GONE -- CLEAN-UP OF HABITATS BEGINS
|Can They Wear White After Labor Day?
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGICAL SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
the official CRETACEOUSLAND! website you poor misguided soul.!
You've just discovered the only LIVE Dinosaur reserve and theme park on the entire planet! You're also about to discover
one more thing: We just moved ALL the DinoResidents back indoors for the coming
winter season. They'll be staying over at The Center's Indoor Paddocks until the
2015 Spring DinoMove. Nice Timing, Pal!
When they do return next spring, here's what you can expect. Right here you can overload your senses -- and probably
your underwear -- all the while seeing real, live, breathing, roaring, ferocious, meat-eating, ravenous, killer Dinosaurs
in the great outdoors!
You'll experience Terrible Lizards that will tear you, your family, your friends, and people you don't even know, to shreds
with no hesitation whatsoever with a devastation so severe it will actually hurt your ancestors. But don't worry...
you can still pet them!
As the world's only live DinoReserve, CRETACEOUSLAND! is located only a quick
ambulance ride from The Center for Cretaceous Studies. In fact, we fight over the
same parking spots.
So detailed and exact in the presentation of natural Cretaceous Period conditions, our scientists have gone to great lengths
(+/-2 centimeters) to raise the same vegetation found dozens of millions of years ago -- much to the chagrin of the U.S. EPA.
We've been in court over most of this stuff for decades.
In the meantime, we've allowed you the opportunity to see Cretaceous Period flora and fauna in outdoor Habitats as they originally
and naturally appeared 65+ MA (Million Years Ago), or BA as we call it (Before Asteroid). This also gives you an excellent
chance to contract some heretofore unknown and incurable prehistoric disease or allergy! See? It just keeps getting better
and better, doesn't it?
Take a moment or three and see what's in store for you and your family this summer when you resign yourself into visiting
CRETACEOUSLAND! as a last ditch vacation idea, which it usually is.
Educational? Nope. Fun? Nah. Good value for the money? No way.
None of these apply here. But odds are, you'll never get to, er... want to... leave!
site for future news and information, as the CRETACEOUSLAND! company information (aka: water cooler rumors), found below,
is updated every few days during the season!
We think you'll agree with that one guy who made it out of here alive:
A day at CRETACEOUSLAND! is like no other!
|CEO & FOUNDER JUST BEFORE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE DIG
|Booted From Hundreds Of Sites Hasn't Stopped Him From Screwing Up Around Here
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! UNDIES, er, NEWSBRIEFS
The Latest And Sorta-Kinda-Up To Date Information On Who...What...Where...When...And Why ME?
On All Things CRETACEOUSLAND!
LAST UPDATED 21 OCTOBER 2014
LIFE FLIGHT HELICOPTER HELPS RESCUE BOATERS
Lake Death Closed A Month Ago
The CFI Care Life Flight helicopter helped rescue a Boy Scout troop that got lost while canoeing on Lake Death this morning.
According to the Scout Leader Kent C. DeTrees, the 32-member troop in 48 canoes ended up stranded when they couldn't find
their way out of a paper bag, er, an area of dense, tall reeds just south of the Deadly Docks area of Lake Death.
The group was reported missing late this morning after they failed to check in their rental boats.
Lake Death Supervisor Sandy Towes asked CFI Care for help when hourly-paid employee searchers couldn't and wouldn't locate
the troop. "Hey, there could still be some animals out there," they insisted.
Lake Death is on the inbound leg toward CFI Care for most Life Flight helicopters.
Read the REAL story: Marine helicopter helps rescued lost Boy Scout boaters