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About Us
Upon Your Arrival
Feed A Raptor!
Run From Dinosaurs!
Bike With Dinosaurs!
Pet A Dinosaur!
Swim With Dinosaurs!
Swing With Dinosaurs!
Camp With Dinosaurs!
Drive With Dinosaurs!
Visitor's Final Look
Membership
Sign Our Guestbook!

WELCOME TO
CRETACEOUSLAND!
The Center for Cretaceous Studies and most likely the world's ONLY
Live Dinosaur Reserve & Theme Park

NORTHEAST ACCESS ROADS MAY NEED REPAVING
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Only Section Of Roadway With No Pot Hole Reports

PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGICAL SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away

WELCOME to the official CRETACEOUSLAND! website you poor misguided soul.!

You've just discovered the only LIVE Dinosaur reserve and theme park on the entire planet! You're also about to discover one more thing:

ALL the DinoResidents are indoors, over at The Center for the winter season. Please visit that site for the latest news!

They'll be staying inside the Indoor Paddocks until the Spring DinoMove on MAYDAY! (May 1st). Nice timing, pal! Just click on the link below to visit The Center, but first, go ahead and waste your time here!

Click Here To Visit The Center (where the DinoResidents are)

When they do return this May here's what you can expect: overloaded senses, ditto your underwear; all the while seeing real, live, breathing, roaring, ferocious, carnivourus, ravenous, killer Dinosaurs in pretty, flower-filled, outdoor Habitats filled with lovely butterflies and little chirping birdies!

You'll experience Terrible Lizards that will tear you, your family, your friends, and people you don't even know, to shreds with no hesitation whatsoever with a devastation so severe it will actually hurt your ancestors. But don't worry... you can still pet them!

As the world's only live DinoReserve, CRETACEOUSLAND! is located only a quick ambulance ride from The Center for Cretaceous Studies. In fact, we fight over the same parking spots.

So detailed and exact in the presentation of natural Cretaceous Period conditions, our scientists have gone to great lengths (+/-2 centimeters) to raise the same vegetation found dozens of millions of years ago -- much to the chagrin of the U.S. EPA. We've been in court over most of this stuff for decades.

In the meantime, we've allowed you the opportunity to see Cretaceous Period flora and fauna in outdoor Habitats as they originally and naturally appeared 65+ MA (Million Years Ago), or BA as we call it (Before Asteroid). This also gives you an excellent chance to contract some heretofore unknown and incurable prehistoric disease or allergy! See? It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?

Take a moment or three and see what's in store for you and your family this next summer when you resign yourself into visiting CRETACEOUSLAND! as a last ditch vacation idea, which it usually is.

Educational? Nope. Fun? Nah. Good value for the money? No way.
None of these apply here. But odds are, you'll never get to, er... want to... leave!

BOOKMARK this site for future news and information, as the CRETACEOUSLAND! company information (aka: water cooler rumors), found below, is updated every few days during the season!

We think you'll agree with that one guy who made it out of here alive:
A day at CRETACEOUSLAND! is like no other!

CEO & FOUNDER JUST BEFORE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE DIG
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Booted From Hundreds Of Sites Hasn't Stopped Him From Screwing Up Around Here

THE CRETACEOUSLAND! UNDIES, er, NEWSBRIEFS
The Latest And Sorta-Kinda Up To Date Information On Who...What...Where...When...And Why ME?
On All Things CRETACEOUSLAND!
LAST UPDATED 25 MARCH 2015


TOUR BUS FALLS INTO DINO-CREATED POT HOLE
We Won't Charge Them Extra For That

A Cretaceousland! tour bus fell into a massive pot hole earlier today before being washed off by intense high school girls giving their first annual fund-raising carwash in Parking Lot (PL)4. A shocking video shows how much water was applied by the amateur car washers.

Said high schooler Betty Dozenmakkit, "We were determined to get that thing washed. Hey, you know how hard it is to make any money for a fundraiser washing cars in March -- inside a live Dinosaur research institution? Last year we cleared 82 after beer... I mean, Pepsi's for the girls."

The doomed tourist bus was quickly surrounded by over a dozen of the girls from Our Blessed Mother Of Bingo high school moments before it was swallowed up by the pot hole, according to survivor reports.

None of the passengers were dry. "No one warned us," said Sid Onmatush, of seat 14B. "All of a sudden water came pouring in through every open window. It looked like a cheap Hollywood disaster movie from the 1970s."

Those passengers not blown out of their seats were seen being dried off from a safe distance as the bus took a nosedive into the pot hole and was swept away into the water. At last report "enough" of the passengers on the bus from BrazilTours escaped before the vehicle fell into the pot hole and was severely washed.

The pot hole formed on the western access road in the northern campus area near Habitats 16 and 33, and may have been caused by Albertosaurs walking in the mud near the roadway a few days ago.

Read the REAL story: Bus falls through giant sinkhole in Brazil, gets swept away by floodwater


WEBSITE CHANGES COMING "SOON"
May Cause Temporary Halt To This Wonderful Prose

Uh oh. We recently saw this notification from Tripod-Lycos:
Time To Migrate! We [Tripod-Lycos] are in the process of retiring the Trellix editor. Soon, to create a new site you will need to use Zeeblio Beta. Within the coming months we will offer automatic conversion of Trellix sites to Zeeblio Beta for paid users. Free users may either convert manually or upgrade to a paid account.

Although there is no deadline announcement, C4CS oddsmakers [the morons hanging around the water cooler instead of working] 'feel' this change will come on or around the new year. What this means to you, the reader, is one day soon this site may not be here!

STOP CRYING! Sheeeeesh. In the meantime we are doing everything possible to make the transition a smooth one, even if we are hell-bent on NOT paying for a website for such a stupid idea as this stuff.

We'll keep this announcement up for a while so all 2 of our readers see it. Rest assured, if anything happens that affects your ability to read this tripe, we'll let you know ASAP! Thanks

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