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WELCOME TO
CRETACEOUSLAND!
The Center for Cretaceous Studies
and most likely the world's ONLY
Live Dinosaur Reserve & Theme Park
| RESIDENT A LOT LARGER THAN THIS GETS TUMMY-TUCK |
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| We Went Through A TON Of Pain Killer (aka: Jello Shots For The Surgery Team) |
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGICAL SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
WELCOME to
the official CRETACEOUSLAND! website you poor misguided soul.
You've just discovered the only LIVE Dinosaur Reserve and Theme Park on the entire planet!
Here you can overload your senses and probably your underwear while seeing real, live, breathing, roaring, ferocious, meat-eating,
ravenous, killer Dinosaurs outdoors! Here you'll experience Terrible Lizards that will tear you, your family, your friends,
and people you don't even know, to shreds with no hesitation whatsoever with a devastation so severe it will actually
hurt your ancestors. But don't worry... you can still pet them!
As the world's only live DinoReserve is located right next door to The Center for Cretaceous Studies. In fact, we fight over the same parking spots. We're only a quick ambulance ride away.
We are so detailed and exacting in the presentation of natural Cretaceous Period conditions that our scientists have gone
to great lengths (+/-2 meters) to present much of the same vegetation found dozens of millions of years ago- much to the chagrin
of the U.S. EPA. We've been in court over most of this stuff for decades. In the meantime, we've allowed you the opportunity
to see Cretaceous Period flora and fauna in outdoor Habitats as they originally and naturally appeared 65+ MA (Million Years
Ago), or BA as we call it (Before Asteroid). This also gives you an excellent chance to contract some heretofore unknown
and incurable prehistoric disease or allergy! See? It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?
Take a moment or three and see what's in store for you and your family when you resign yourself into visiting CRETACEOUSLAND!
as a last ditch vacation idea, which it usually is.
Educational? Nope. Fun? Nah. Good value for the money? No way.
None of these apply here. But odds are, you'll never get to, er... want to... leave!
BOOKMARK this
site for future news and information, as the CRETACEOUSLAND! company information (aka: water cooler rumors), found below,
is updated nearly every day!
We think you'll agree with the one guy who made it out of here alive:
A day at CRETACEOUSLAND! is like no other!
| CEO & FOUNDER JUST BEFORE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE DIG |
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| Booted From Hundreds Of Sites Hasn't Stopped Him From Screwing Up Around Here |
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! UNDERPANTS, er, NEWSBRIEFS
The Latest And Sorta-Kinda-Up To Date Information On Who...What...Where...When...And Why ME?
On All Things CRETACEOUSLAND!
LAST UPDATED 24 MAY 2013
VETERINARY SURGEONS REMOVE BASKETBALL-SIZED HAIRBALL FROM TIGER
"Child's
Play," Says C4CS DinoMedical Staff
A 402-pound tiger needed help from veterinary surgeons in Florida when he couldn't hack up a hairball the size of an NBA basketball.
A 17-year-old tiger underwent the procedure Wednesday at a veterinary center in the Tampa Bay area community of Clearwater.
Doctors said in a statement that they safely removed the 4-pound obstruction from the tiger's stomach.
In OR23 at the C4CS DinoMedical Center, C4CS surgeons themselves were busy removing a tiger from the stomach of a 39-ft.,
9.5-ton Giganotosaurus carolinii. The operation was considered a resounding success until someone in Post-Op discovered
technician Annie Theeziollojest was missing. The grisly discovery altered the operation to only a success.
The tiger, which is cared for by Wildlife Hairball Institute in Clearwater, was brought to veterinarians after not eating
for nearly two weeks. Doctors said they detected the hairball using a scope with a real long brush.
The tiger inside the Giganotosaur was discovered after it went missing from the local zoo. In an amazing display of
coincidence, every Habitat employee from H19 (home of the Giganotosaurus carolinii family group) came down with laryngitis
and were unable to comment on exactly how the tiger got into the Habitat in the first place.
Read the REAL story: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/05/23/veterinary-surgeons-remove-basketball-sized-hairball-from-tiger-in-fla-that/?intcmp=obnetwork#ixzz2UAVMOgGM
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