Make your own free website on Tripod.com

cretlogo2.jpg

Home
About Us
Upon Your Arrival
Feed A Raptor!
Run From Dinosaurs!
Bike With Dinosaurs!
Pet A Dinosaur!
Swim With Dinosaurs!
Swing With Dinosaurs!
Camp With Dinosaurs!
Drive With Dinosaurs!
Visitor's Final Look
Membership
Sign Our Guestbook!

WELCOME TO
CRETACEOUSLAND!
The Center for Cretaceous Studies
and most likely the world's ONLY
Live Dinosaur Reserve & Theme Park

ICY CONDITIONS MAKE IT VERY DANGEROUS TO DRIVE
roadclosed.jpg
Right. It's The Icy Conditions. Sure. You Bet. Uh Huh.

PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGICAL SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away

WELCOME to the official CRETACEOUSLAND! website you poor misguided soul.!

You've just discovered the only LIVE Dinosaur reserve and theme park on the entire planet! You're also about to discover one more thing:

ALL the DinoResidents are now back indoors at The Center for the coming winter season. Please visit that site for the latest news!
They'll be staying inside the Indoor Paddocks until the 2015 Spring DinoMove. Nice Timing, Pal!

When they do return next spring, here's what you can expect. Right here you can overload your senses -- and probably your underwear -- all the while seeing real, live, breathing, roaring, ferocious, meat-eating, ravenous, killer Dinosaurs in the great outdoors!

You'll experience Terrible Lizards that will tear you, your family, your friends, and people you don't even know, to shreds with no hesitation whatsoever with a devastation so severe it will actually hurt your ancestors. But don't worry... you can still pet them!

As the world's only live DinoReserve, CRETACEOUSLAND! is located only a quick ambulance ride from The Center for Cretaceous Studies. In fact, we fight over the same parking spots.

So detailed and exact in the presentation of natural Cretaceous Period conditions, our scientists have gone to great lengths (+/-2 centimeters) to raise the same vegetation found dozens of millions of years ago -- much to the chagrin of the U.S. EPA. We've been in court over most of this stuff for decades.

In the meantime, we've allowed you the opportunity to see Cretaceous Period flora and fauna in outdoor Habitats as they originally and naturally appeared 65+ MA (Million Years Ago), or BA as we call it (Before Asteroid). This also gives you an excellent chance to contract some heretofore unknown and incurable prehistoric disease or allergy! See? It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?

Take a moment or three and see what's in store for you and your family this summer when you resign yourself into visiting CRETACEOUSLAND! as a last ditch vacation idea, which it usually is.

Educational? Nope. Fun? Nah. Good value for the money? No way.
None of these apply here. But odds are, you'll never get to, er... want to... leave!

BOOKMARK this site for future news and information, as the CRETACEOUSLAND! company information (aka: water cooler rumors), found below, is updated every few days during the season!

We think you'll agree with that one guy who made it out of here alive:
A day at CRETACEOUSLAND! is like no other!

CEO & FOUNDER JUST BEFORE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE DIG
ceo2.jpg
Booted From Hundreds Of Sites Hasn't Stopped Him From Screwing Up Around Here

THE CRETACEOUSLAND! UNDIES, er, NEWSBRIEFS
The Latest And Sorta-Kinda-Up To Date Information On Who...What...Where...When...And Why ME?
On All Things CRETACEOUSLAND!
LAST UPDATED 19 NOVEMBER 2014


EMPLOYEE ACCUSED OF MAKING FAILING GRADES ALL A+ WITH PRETTY STARS
Means All Missing Employees May Not Be On Sick Leave

Cretaceousland! authorities say a former employee of Habitat (HAB)7 altered reports saying over 7000 employees were home sick instead of having been eaten in order to obtain nearly 4 hours of overtime since June.

The employees, ranging from DinoFeeders and DinoHandlers to regular Habitat personnel, were all given FAIL grades at their latest 1-on-1 meeting with HAB Supervisors, mostly for not showing up.

Jake Espanyole is charged with two counts of computer fraud and seven thousand counts of out-smarting his superiors. The 24-year-old remained in MPE (Missing, Presumed Eaten) condition on Wednesday following a DinoAlert! at The Center's Building O.

The 7,000 missing employees will immediately be upgraded to MPE, according to Cretaceousland! Computer Department guru, C. Colin Bakslash.

Security says Espanyole was a DinoHandler employee with access to a computer system that allowed him to change the status of thousands of MPE employees to being on sick leave. This allowed the suspect to work overtime and not worry about new employees being hired to replace those eate... er, missing. He and his fellow HAB7 employees made dozens of dollars in overtime pay until his untimely 'retirement' at Building O.

Espanyole's public defender declined to comment other than to say, "The guy ain't coming back. One of those big lizards ate him. I seen it. Yeah. He ain't coming back, pal. Wait.. did you hear an ambulance?"

Read the REAL story: Idaho student accused of making failing grades all A's

CONTINUE TO NEXT PAGE if you really have nothing better to do

Click HERE To Return To Top Of Page

No! Click HERE To Visit The Center for Cretaceous Studies (research facility)

Wait... CLICK HERE To Return To The PREVIEW PAGE