The Center for Cretaceous Studies
and most likely the world's ONLY
Live Dinosaur Reserve & Theme Park
|ICY CONDITIONS MAKE IT VERY DANGEROUS TO DRIVE
|Right. It's The Icy Conditions. Sure. You Bet. Uh Huh.
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGICAL SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
the official CRETACEOUSLAND! website you poor misguided soul.!
You've just discovered the only LIVE Dinosaur reserve and theme park on the entire planet! You're also about to discover
one more thing:
ALL the DinoResidents are now back indoors at The Center
for the coming winter season. Please visit that site for the latest news!
They'll be staying inside the Indoor Paddocks until the 2015 Spring DinoMove. Nice Timing, Pal!
When they do return next spring, here's what you can expect. Right here you can overload your senses -- and probably
your underwear -- all the while seeing real, live, breathing, roaring, ferocious, meat-eating, ravenous, killer Dinosaurs
in the great outdoors!
You'll experience Terrible Lizards that will tear you, your family, your friends, and people you don't even know, to shreds
with no hesitation whatsoever with a devastation so severe it will actually hurt your ancestors. But don't worry...
you can still pet them!
As the world's only live DinoReserve, CRETACEOUSLAND! is located only a quick
ambulance ride from The Center for Cretaceous Studies. In fact, we fight over the
same parking spots.
So detailed and exact in the presentation of natural Cretaceous Period conditions, our scientists have gone to great lengths
(+/-2 centimeters) to raise the same vegetation found dozens of millions of years ago -- much to the chagrin of the U.S. EPA.
We've been in court over most of this stuff for decades.
In the meantime, we've allowed you the opportunity to see Cretaceous Period flora and fauna in outdoor Habitats as they originally
and naturally appeared 65+ MA (Million Years Ago), or BA as we call it (Before Asteroid). This also gives you an excellent
chance to contract some heretofore unknown and incurable prehistoric disease or allergy! See? It just keeps getting better
and better, doesn't it?
Take a moment or three and see what's in store for you and your family this summer when you resign yourself into visiting
CRETACEOUSLAND! as a last ditch vacation idea, which it usually is.
Educational? Nope. Fun? Nah. Good value for the money? No way.
None of these apply here. But odds are, you'll never get to, er... want to... leave!
site for future news and information, as the CRETACEOUSLAND! company information (aka: water cooler rumors), found below,
is updated every few days during the season!
We think you'll agree with that one guy who made it out of here alive:
A day at CRETACEOUSLAND! is like no other!
|CEO & FOUNDER JUST BEFORE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE DIG
|Booted From Hundreds Of Sites Hasn't Stopped Him From Screwing Up Around Here
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! UNDIES, er, NEWSBRIEFS
The Latest And Sorta-Kinda-Up To Date Information On Who...What...Where...When...And Why ME?
On All Things CRETACEOUSLAND!
LAST UPDATED 19 NOVEMBER 2014
EMPLOYEE ACCUSED OF MAKING FAILING GRADES ALL A+ WITH PRETTY STARS
Means All Missing Employees May Not Be On Sick Leave
Cretaceousland! authorities say a former employee of Habitat (HAB)7 altered reports saying over 7000 employees were home sick
instead of having been eaten in order to obtain nearly 4 hours of overtime since June.
The employees, ranging from DinoFeeders and DinoHandlers to regular Habitat personnel, were all given FAIL grades at their
latest 1-on-1 meeting with HAB Supervisors, mostly for not showing up.
Jake Espanyole is charged with two counts of computer fraud and seven thousand counts of out-smarting his superiors. The 24-year-old
remained in MPE (Missing, Presumed Eaten) condition on Wednesday following a DinoAlert! at The Center's Building O.
The 7,000 missing employees will immediately be upgraded to MPE, according to Cretaceousland! Computer Department guru, C.
Security says Espanyole was a DinoHandler employee with access to a computer system that allowed him to change the status
of thousands of MPE employees to being on sick leave. This allowed the suspect to work overtime and not worry about new employees
being hired to replace those eate... er, missing. He and his fellow HAB7 employees made dozens of dollars in overtime pay
until his untimely 'retirement' at Building O.
Espanyole's public defender declined to comment other than to say, "The guy ain't coming back. One of those big lizards
ate him. I seen it. Yeah. He ain't coming back, pal. Wait.. did you hear an ambulance?"
Read the REAL story: Idaho student accused of making failing grades all A's