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Home
About Us
Upon Your Arrival
Feed A Raptor!
Run From Dinosaurs!
Bike With Dinosaurs!
Pet A Dinosaur!
Swim With Dinosaurs!
Swing With Dinosaurs!
Camp With Dinosaurs!
Drive With Dinosaurs!
Visitor's Final Look
Membership
Sign Our Guestbook!

WELCOME TO
CRETACEOUSLAND!
The Center for Cretaceous Studies and most likely the world's ONLY
Live Dinosaur Reserve & Theme Park

FORMER GUIDE GLADYS OVERWEIGH SHOWS OFF HER TEETH
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Took Our Crews WEEKS To Find All The Pieces. Ick.

PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGICAL SOCIETY

even though they asked us to go away

Look For The Center On Facebook!

why? for what sane reason would you do that?

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People for the Ethical Treatment Of Dinosaurs. Charter Member Since We Joined Last Week

WELCOME to the official CRETACEOUSLAND! website you poor misguided soul!

You've just discovered the only LIVE Dinosaur reserve and theme park on the entire planet!

What can you expect to find while you're here? Nuthin' but empty Habitats (HABs)! See, a while ago we moved the DinoResidents into their Indoor Paddocks for the winter. They're all over at The Center now. Nice timing,pal!

Because of your tardiness you missed experiencing Terrible Lizards that could and would tear you, your family, your friends, and people you don't even know to shreds with no hesitation whatsoever with a devastation so severe it would actually hurt your ancestors. But don't worry... you can still see them, pet them, run from them, at their Indoor Paddocks (IPs) over at The Center.

In the meantime, as the world's only live DinoReserve, CRETACEOUSLAND! is located just a quick ambulance ride from The Center for Cretaceous Studies. In fact, we fight over the same parking spots.

So detailed and exact in the presentation of natural Cretaceous Period conditions, our scientists have gone to great lengths (+/-2 centimeters) to raise the same vegetation found dozens of millions of years ago -- much to the chagrin of the U.S. EPA. We've been in court over most of this stuff for decades.

During our summer season we'll give you the opportunity to see Cretaceous Period flora and fauna in outdoor Habitats (HABs) as they originally, naturally appeared 65+ MA (Million Years Ago), or BA as we call it (Before Asteroid). This also gives you an excellent chance to contract some heretofore unknown and probably incurable prehistoric disease or allergy! See? It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?

Take a moment or three to see what's in store for you and your family next summer when you resign yourself into visiting CRETACEOUSLAND! as a last ditch vacation idea, which it usually is.

Educational? Nope. Fun? Nah. Good value for the money? No way.
None of these apply here. But odds are, you'll never get to, er... want to... leave!

BOOKMARK this site for future news and information, as the CRETACEOUSLAND! company information (aka: water cooler rumors), found below, is updated every time we have a reporter who survives another day here during the season!

We think you'll agree with that one guy who made it out of here alive:
A day at CRETACEOUSLAND! is like no other!

CEO & FOUNDER JUST BEFORE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE DIG
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Booted From Hundreds Of Sites Hasn't Stopped Him From Screwing Up Around Here

THE CRETACEOUSLAND! NEWSUNDIES, er, NEWSBRIEFS
The Latest And Sorta-Kinda Up To Date Information On Who...What...Where...When...And Why ME?
On All Things CRETACEOUSLAND!
LAST UPDATED 6 FEBRUARY 2016


CRETACEOUSLAND! SUPERVISORS VOTE THEMSELVES HUGE RAISE
Will Make More Than Minimum Wage Starting Next Year

Cretaceousland! Habitat (HAB) Supervisors raised their pay Friday by 332 percent, an increase members justified because it was tied to "things outside of their control" that limit their chances of making it outside the perimeter fencing.

They voted 3-1 to approve the pay-raise legislation, with 7 members voting twice. Members of the Supervisor council, who are overwhelming and underworking, haven’t had a raise since 1989. The C4CS Board of Directors took immediate action on the vote by deferring it to summer.

So members’ salaries are rising June 1. Cretaceousland! spokesman Audrey Marx noted that "most Supervisors will be making minimum wage or higher." The huge raise will have no effect on admission ticket prices to Cretaceousland! this next summer, according to Marx.

“Every dollar is a worthy investment in a company that works full time. And since hardly anyone here works full time, then we're very proud to know that every nickel is a worthy investment in our employees,” said CEO and founder Dr. S Beckmann.

Like many Supervisors, Hugh Jim Bissel said the raise was reasonable because Supervisors worked hard and because the company rules restricted outside incomes. Well, maybe not company 'rules' as much as: no one would be in any shape or condition to work another job following a day at this death trap.

Read the REAL story: NYC Council members vote to give themselves $36,000 raise

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