The Center for Cretaceous Studies and most likely the world's ONLY
Live Dinosaur Reserve & Theme Park
|BOARD TO VOTE ON NEW DRIVE-UP HABITAT
|"Looks Promising!" Says Blind Guy
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGICAL SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
Look For The Center On Facebook!
why? for what sane reason would you do that?
|People for the Ethical Treatment Of Dinosaurs. Charter Member Since We Joined Last Week
WELCOME to the official CRETACEOUSLAND!
website you poor misguided soul!
You've just discovered the only LIVE Dinosaur reserve and theme park on the entire planet! What can you expect to find
while you're here - besides your worst nightmares coming true?
Well, uh, guess that pretty much sums it up.
Luckily (for us) we just moved the DinoResidents back indoors at The Center for Cretaceous Studies, so now it is nearly safe to visit. 'Nearly' because there always seem to be one or two hiding.
As the world's only outdoor, live DinoReserve, CRETACEOUSLAND! is located
just a quick ambulance ride from our parent company The Center for Cretaceous Studies.
In fact, we fight over the same parking spots.
So detailed and exact in the presentation of natural Cretaceous Period conditions, our scientists have gone to great lengths
(+/-2 centimeters) to raise the same vegetation found dozens of millions of years ago -- much to the chagrin of the U.S. EPA.
We've been in court over most of this stuff for decades.
We'll give you the opportunity to see Cretaceous Period flora and fauna in outdoor Habitats (HABs) as they originally, naturally
appeared 65+ MA (Million Years Ago), or BA as we call it (Before Asteroid). This also gives you an excellent chance
to contract some heretofore unknown and probably incurable prehistoric disease or allergy!
See? It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?
Take a moment or three to see what's in store for you and your family next summer when you resign yourself into visiting CRETACEOUSLAND! as a last ditch vacation idea, which it usually is.
Educational? Nope. Fun? Nah. Good value for the money? No way.
None of these apply here. But odds are, you'll never get to, er... want to... leave!
site for future news and information, as the CRETACEOUSLAND! company information (aka: water cooler rumors), found below,
is updated every time we have a reporter who survives another week in this death trap!
We think you'll agree with that one guy who nearly made it out of here alive:
A day at CRETACEOUSLAND! is like no other!
|CEO & FOUNDER JUST BEFORE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE DIG
|Booted From Hundreds Of Sites Hasn't Stopped Him From Screwing Up Around Here
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! NEWSUNDIES, er, NEWSBRIEFS
The Latest And Sorta-Kinda Up To Date Information On Who...What...Where...When...And Why ME?
On All Things CRETACEOUSLAND!
LAST UPDATED 10 MARCH 2018
PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE ON THE BUS THREW UP, AND OTHER RESULTS FROM THIS
WEEK'S BUS TOURS
Better Results Than Last Year's Eating Festival Catastrophe, er, Bus Tour
Something besides politics put several busloads of tourists and potential employees on the verge of throwing up Friday.
As the bus procession toured several outdoor Habitats (HABs), showing potential employees the opportunities that await them
when they come aboard, a gentle northwest breeze delivered a scent so strong that it made people sick.
A quick check made sure it wasn't coming from the Kretaceous Kitchen.
One bus pulling into the Cretaceousland! Emergency Loading Zone reported that nearly everyone on the bus had lost their lunch
or whatever else they were eating. Funny thing was, this particular bus did not go anywhere near the DinoResident compost
area, but made a stop at the New Employee exhibit.
The message sent out by Cretaceousland! suggests the experience for the passengers and crew of 12 of the 9 buses was miserable.
More than 4,500 potential new employees had canceled as of Friday mid-afternoon, according to Cretaceousland! spokesman Audrey
Marx. Most of those cancellations were along the lines of "I don't want nuthin to do with that place," a common remark
with all employees.
Read the REAL story: Pretty Much Everyone On The Plane Threw Up On Gut-Wrenching Landing
A BOOK ALL DINOSAUR-LOVERS REALLY NEED
Real Book? Seriously? Available Now? Where? How Do We Get It? Huh? Huh?
Can We Possibly Ask More Questions Or Does This
About Cover It?
Yes Virginia, there really is a book about our parent company, aka The Center for Cretaceous Studies, aka this death
The world has waited 66 million years - give or take a month - for live Dinosaurs & comedy to come together. Until that happens,
here's our shot at it.
Grab your copy of "The Center for Cretaceous Studies" before they sell out! Ok, that might be stretching it a bit.
Anyway, pick one up at these fine bookstore websites:
AuthorHouse (eBook and paperback)
Barnes & Noble (paperback)