The Center for Cretaceous Studies and most likely the world's ONLY
Live Dinosaur Reserve & Theme Park
|THE FALL DINOMOVE. NOT A GREAT TIME FOR PHOTOS
|Hard To Believe But These Things Hardly Ever Pose.
PROUD MEMBER OF THE MID-AMERICA PALEONTOLOGICAL SOCIETY
even though they asked us to go away
Look For The Center On Facebook!
why? for what sane reason would you do that?
|People for the Ethical Treatment Of Dinosaurs. Charter Member Since We Joined Last Week
WELCOME to the official CRETACEOUSLAND!
website you poor misguided soul!
You've just discovered the only LIVE Dinosaur reserve and theme park on the entire planet! What can you expect to find
while you're here - besides your worst nightmares coming true?
Well, uh, guess that pretty much sums it up.
Luckily (for you, because you don't have to work here) the DinoResidents are outdoors here at CRETACEOUSLAND!
for the entire summer! Yeah. yay. whee.
As the world's only outdoor, live DinoReserve, CRETACEOUSLAND! is located
just a quick ambulance ride from our parent company The Center for Cretaceous Studies.
In fact, we fight over the same parking spots.
So detailed and exact in the presentation of natural Cretaceous Period conditions, our scientists have gone to great lengths
(+/-2 centimeters) to raise the same vegetation found dozens of millions of years ago -- much to the chagrin of the U.S. EPA.
We've been in court over most of this stuff for decades.
We'll give you the opportunity to see Cretaceous Period flora and fauna in outdoor Habitats (HABs) as they originally, naturally
appeared 65+ MA (Million Years Ago), or BA as we call it (Before Asteroid). This also gives you an excellent chance
to contract some heretofore unknown and probably incurable prehistoric disease or allergy!
See? It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?
Take a moment or three to see what's in store for you and your family next summer when you resign yourself into visiting CRETACEOUSLAND! as a last ditch vacation idea, which it usually is.
Educational? Nope. Fun? Nah. Good value for the money? No way.
None of these apply here. But odds are, you'll never get to, er... want to... leave!
site for future news and information, as the CRETACEOUSLAND! company information (aka: water cooler rumors), found below,
is updated every time we have a reporter who survives another week in this death trap!
We think you'll agree with that one guy who nearly made it out of here alive:
A day at CRETACEOUSLAND! is like no other!
|CEO & FOUNDER JUST BEFORE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE DIG
|Booted From Hundreds Of Sites Hasn't Stopped Him From Screwing Up Around Here
THE CRETACEOUSLAND! NEWSUNDIES, er, NEWSBRIEFS
The Latest And Sorta-Kinda Up To Date Information On Who...What...Where...When...And Why ME?
On All Things CRETACEOUSLAND!
LAST UPDATED 20 OCTOBER 2018
EXCITEMENT AS "NEWEST ADDITION" ANNOUNCED AT FALL DINOMOVE
Could Be Terrible News: We Barely Know Subtraction
On Friday night, the soon-to-be first-time volunteers of the 2018 Fall DinoMove gushed about being here to help move the DinoResidents
from Cretaceousland! to The Center for Cretaceous Studies.
"Thank you for the welcome you have given us over the last few minutes," Fall DinoMove volunteer Ron Kwicker said to
Cretaceousland! employees. "I have been so proud to be able to have been so happy to in good physical shape until today.
I'm sure that will change in the next few moments."
After giving his opening ceremony speech, Kwicker rejoined other volunteers in the audience, and 22 minutes later was pronounced
"Missing, Presumed Eaten" by Cretaceousland! officials.
Prior to attending the DinoMove opening night program, the first time volunteers made a visit to the famous open-air venue
during the day, wowed by the size of many of the man-eating animals we, for some reason, keep here.
"These DinoMoves were created for our men and women employees; designed around their talents and their needs and not just
for them, but also for the friends and families that have supported their recoveries and had their lives changed forever,"
34-year old DinoMove Committee Chairman Kay Sera said in her speech. "Over the last few decades though, the DinoMoves have
become about much more than the thousands of competitors who have left us."
She continued, "The DinoMove has become about the example of service and dedication our employees have provided to the
world of live dinosaur research. Our family has turned these Moves into a symbol of strength, honor, optimism and a whole
lot of recovery time at local hospitals."
Read the REAL story: Meghan Markle's husband, Prince Harry, shares excitement for their 'newest addition' in Invictus Games
A BOOK ALL DINOSAUR-LOVERS REALLY NEED
Real Book? Seriously? Available Now? Where? How Do We Get It? Huh? Huh?
Can We Possibly Ask More Questions Or Does This
About Cover It?
Yes Virginia, there really is a book about our parent company, aka The Center for Cretaceous Studies, aka this death
The world has waited 66 million years - give or take a month - for live Dinosaurs & comedy to come together. Until that happens,
here's our shot at it.
Grab your copy of "The Center for Cretaceous Studies" before they sell out! Ok, that might be stretching it a bit.
Anyway, pick one up at these fine bookstore websites:
AuthorHouse (eBook and paperback)
Barnes & Noble (paperback)